Wii Further Trivialized By Niche Marketing

So the company CTA Digital was hanging out at E3 this year and decided to show off their latest offering to the gaming community – a bowling ball for the Nintendo Wii.

Yes, it’s a bowling ball.  At least, it looks like a bowling ball.  The idea is that you open this sucker up (it splits in half like all good bowling balls do) and put your WiiMote inside.  Then it’s just a matter of holding the ball in a way that isn’t awkward and throwing it at your television without actually throwing it at your television.  Yay, fun!

This is just another hit onto the dead horse that is the Wii accessory market.  I don’t own a Wii.  I’ve seen them at stores, played them with friends, and have decided that while it is easily a bowling ball full of fun, I can’t bring myself to purchase one.  Because after an hour or two, the fun begins to fade.  The novelty wears off.  I begin craving a dual joystick controller and a recliner.  This effect is made only more apparent when people try to hand me steering wheels and boxing gloves and rifles.  Guess what, folks?  If I want to bowl with a bowling ball, I’m going to go to the bowling lanes.  Holding a plastic ball to further increase my illusion of bowling only manages to make me feel silly for not actually bowling.  Punching the air with boxing gloves only makes me wonder why I’m not doing the real thing to an old lady who has money that I want.

We saw all of this before on the original Nintendo.  And while we had our fun with the running pad and the rifle and the power glove, we moved on *.  So  please, can’t we just move on now?  It’s already creeping its way into other devices, as this steering wheel for your freaking iPhone and/or iPod TouchYourself screams for you to waste more money.  Seriously, if I see any of you with this thing I will punch you in the face.  With any luck, your loved ones will be nearby to witness the event so that they learn not to make such a ridiculous purchase themselves.

* Duck Hunt is the exception to the rule, however, as I will happily play Duck Hunt until I’m 80 with cataracts and a bad bladder.  And even then I’ll just get a TV put in the bathroom and shoot about wildly.